Off to Kindergarten

I still have so many old posts to do, but I had to get this big news posted! My little Logan has started school - and not that pre-school stuff - KINDERGARTEN!!! I don't know how I feel about this yet. We are now 3 days into the school year, and I keep thinking it will get easier to send him out the door each day, but I think it is getting harder! I thought I would be a mess on the first day, but I actually did OK. Maybe it was because he has done pre-school and other stuff and it just didn't seem that different. As he is going more and it is becoming more and more routine, I realize that I miss my little boy - at least it is only 3 hours a day. I can't believe how grown up he is!
Here is Logan at Back to School night the week before school started. I think part of the reason I did so well on his first day of school is that I felt like I had a whole week of preparing for school to start with the back to school night and then the assessment and shedding a few tears here and there along the way. Logan loved meeting his teacher - She is FABULOUS! She is SO what I picture a Kindergarten teacher to be and he tells everyone he has the best teacher in the world - So cute!

My handsome little man - He did pretty well to sit through the presentation and did a little scavenger hunt to find his name in about 10 different places around the room - his table, his coat hook, his cubby, his birthday, the attendance board.... tons of places! He was way more excited to go outside and check out where recess would be. When I went out to get him, he was playing soccer with some much older boys and said, "Mom, I just challenged those boys to a game!" Then, he told me they had dodgeballs on the playground. I wasn't sure what that would be and then he said, "you know, those balls on a rope" so I explained those were tether balls. I'm pretty sure he is more excited for recess than anything else!

Logan and mom - How is this even possible??? A kid in ELEMENTARY school!!! I am feeling pretty old!

Next, Logan went for his assessment 2 days before school started. He wanted to know the whole drive over what an "assessment" was and asked a million questions. He said that word so cute! When we got there, he went right in and got pretty comfortable and everything his teacher asked he would say "I know, I know". Apparently, he is an expert on Kindergarten. My eyes started watering several times while we were there. I was really having a hard time seeing him be so big! The teacher gave him a paper to draw a picture of himself, and then wanted to talk to me. If you know Logan, you know he hates to draw and write. He drew a little smiley face of himself in about 5 seconds and then wanted to come over and listen to everything the teacher told me and was pretty funny about it and was nodding a lot. Then, she did his little test and he did great! He counted past 100 and also knew all his letters and sounds. He did some basic math and counting. The teacher also would ask him 2 words - one shorter and one longer and ask him which one was longer and he did great on that too. The only thing he had a hard time with was when the teacher knocked on the table a few times and then asked him how many. He never quite got that one. I don't think he is the best listener. He was a little distracted and looking at everything in the room and I don't think he paid attention. The teacher was so great with him and really impressed. We talked a little about how Logan is reading and she said she really wants to keep him learning and would send him to other grades to get books, so I was excited that she was willing to work with him so well.

The day before school started, we decided to have one last fun summer day. Darren had the morning off, so we decided to go on a picnic. Logan chose to get Happy Meals and go to the park with the zoo. We never get Happy Meals with the toy, so the kids thought that was an awesome treat! We had lots of fun being together for our picnic, playing at the playground and then walking through the zoo and feeding the fish and the ducks. I was a little sad that school was really starting! That night, Darren also gave Logan a Priesthood blessing. Some of the things he blessed Logan with were that he would continue to love life and to love learning and school. That he would make good choices and especially choose good friends. That he would be kind to others and especially those who needed a friend and be a good example. That he would listen to the spirit. That he would be a good minder and helper at school and at home. That he would stay sweet. And that he would learn lots of new things. Also, that he would know how much his mom and dad love and support him. It was a great blessing and we all felt the Spirit. Rylee also wanted a blessing and Darren gave her one, too. I'm so grateful that we can do that in our home!

Then, the big day arrived! Logan was so excited - especially when he saw his new dinosaur shirt! In the morning, he got a little teary and said to me, "Mom, I was feeling so excited for school, but now I am feeling really shy." He was trying so hard not to cry and it was all I could do not to totally lose it and tell him he didn't have to go to school, but I tried to hold it together and tell him it would be great and he would love it! On the way over to the school, I asked him how he was feeling and he said "Great, Mom. I'm not shy anymore. I'm excited. I think I was just feeling tired earlier." I guess he was over his jitters. I wasn't though!

What a handsome boy!

I think I was hoping if I took enough pictures, I could freeze that moment and not have him grow up - I don't think it worked.....

Showing off his BLUE backpack that my grandma bought him. I actually got him a really cute one that I loved, but he wanted this BLUE one, so I lost that battle. All 3 kiddies ready to see Logan off - Of course, Rylee is wearing Cinderella shoes

Avery - just because she is cute! I think her starting to walk and Logan starting school is really hard for me as a Mom! My kids are getting too big too fast!

Rylee had to have a picture, too. My little poser!

Logan in front of the school

Darren was able to get out of work a little early and come with us. It is a good thing, too, because I think that was the only thing that kept me from a total meltdown. Here is Logan showing the way to his classroom - He looks so small in that BIG school!

Ready for class

One more with all of us...

He went straight in and sat right down at his table and started doing the activity. He didn't even seem to care that we were going to leave. He was excited and ready for school. I was so proud of him, but also a little sad - I felt like my baby didn't need me anymore and that was a hard feeling to have! That is when the tears were really starting to come, but Darren told me I couldn't cry in front of Logan - I know he is going to be great in Kindergarten!

Just one more picture....but he wouldn't even look. He was much too busy! Leaving was so hard - I wanted to just sit at the door and watch. On the way out, I got teary again and told Darren that it made me sad that Logan didn't even care that we left, but he said that just meant he was ready. He is probably right, but it was still hard! I only had a few tears... I was pretty proud of myself for that.

I decided to pick him up on his first day and we could all go get ice cream and hear all about his first day of school. I guess that wasn't the coolest thing to do. When he saw me, he said, "Mom! What are you doing here? I'm supposed to ride the bus!" I wasn't ready to just turn him loose on the bus, so I walked him down there with the class and made sure he knew where to get on and everything. He was pretty upset that he wasn't going to ride though! I think the ice cream helped.

On the way to get ice cream, he told us a little about his first day. He told us that he had gone on a scavenger hunt for Mr Bear with his class, but they hadn't found him. But, they did get to go all over the school and Mr Bear did leave them cookies. He was excited to tell us about recess too, but he said some 1st graders told him he couldn't play on a certain playground. I asked him what he did about that and he said, "I just teached them a lesson!" I asked him what that meant and he said he told them "I'm 5 and I'm a child and you are in first grade and you are a child. We are all a child!" I'm not sure exactly what he meant by that, but hopefully it doesn't get him beat up! He told me they learned about not hurting people on the inside or on the outside, and the you shouldn't say things like "I color better than you." And he told us about the Think chair, which I think must be like time out. He didn't have much more to say - You kind of have to work to get information out of Logan. He didn't even know any of the names of the kids who sat by him. But he did have a fun day, and he was a little disappointed that he didn't have any homework yet. We spent Labor Day weekend with our families and everyone wanted to hear all about Logan's time at Kindergarten. He wouldn't say much though. When they asked how it was, all he said was fine or good or sometimes "I love it" and tell them his teacher's name. He did tell my brother that his teacher had "yellow hair just like me".

Since Logan was so disappointed that he didn't get to ride the bus the first day, I let him ride the bus on the 2nd day. He was almost the last one off, so I was a little nervous waiting for him, but when he got off, he had the biggest smile and was so proud of himself! He rode by his friend, Spencer and LOVED it! It was nice not to have to drop everything to pick him up at school, so maybe the bus will be a good thing for us. I'm still a little unsure of him riding with all those bigger kids, but we'll see how it goes. He came home today from his 3rd day of school with homework and he was SO excited to get it out and do it! We'll see how long that lasts.... Logan doesn't really like to write or color, so his attention span for homework isn't too long. His teacher sent home a "Beary Special Me Book" for the kids to complete that is all about them. We have been working on it in bits and pieces and he doesn't really like doing it. It has turned into a bit of a nightmare since it a special book and I want it to look nice and he just wants to hurry and get it done so he doesn't have to do it anymore. There has been lots of erasing! We were doing a page about where we live - I wrote the name of our town and then our address for him to copy onto the page and then left the room. When I came back, he had written out our city name perfectly, but the address line was a whole bunch of scribbles. When I asked him about it, he said "that is Chinese Mom". I told him his teacher didn't read Chinese so he had to do it over. Funny Boy! He hates writing, but he really hates writing numbers so I think that is why he decided Chinese was a good option.

I really have had a hard few weeks with all of this Kindergarten stuff. I know some people are so excited to send their kids off to school, but I am not one of those Moms. There is a part of me that is glad for a few hours to only have 2 kids, and if Avery naps I might get to spend some one-on-one time with Ry, which I think she really needs. I just worry about so many things. I worry that he won't get on the bus, or that kids won't be nice to him. I worry that he will have a hard time making friends. I worry that he will be bored at school. Logan gets VERY excited about so many things - It is what makes him Logan. I worry that he might be a little too excited and be disruptive or hyper. I worry that his teacher won't understand his excitement. I worry that he will suck his thumb and kids will make fun of him and he will be sad. I worry that the kids on the bus will teach his bad words or things I don't want him to know about for a long time. I worry that he will lose his sweetness. I worry much too much!!!

I know I can't shelter him forever, but Logan seems so small to be in such a big school and find his way around and ride the bus and all those things. It makes me sad to think how big he has gotten in the last 5 years! It doesn't seem that long ago that I was laying in a hospital bed, worrying about getting him here and hoping he would be OK, since he was 6 weeks premature. There were so many concerns and worries about his birth, and I kind of feel the same way about sending him off to school! I am so excited to share my Logan with the world! He is so sweet and smart and fun and loving. But I also don't want to share him! He is mine! It makes me sad to think that he goes to school and says funny things and I am not there to hear him. If I could, I would watch everything he did all day long - I love that kid and he always has me cracking up! I feel like I've been there for pretty much every big thing in his life, and now I am just kind of turning him over and I feel like I might be missing a lot of things. Is that dumb? I don't think I realized how hard this part of being a mom could possibly be! The part where you are not right by their side - It is hard! I don't even want to THINK about when he goes off to college or on his mission....YIKES!!! Or even FIRST grade when he is gone all day!!!

I'm so grateful for my special Logan! I know he will be so great in school this year and that he will love it! And, I'll be Ok, too....